Secrets We Keep
by LadyGold42
Summary: WARNING! DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE! A new year is starting at Hogwarts and is filled with surprises that Snape could never expect. He has a daughter that he never knew about.Told from multiple points of view. All characters in this story apart from Allia,and Kelsey are from HP and belong to J.K.Rowling. Kelsey and Allia belong to me.
1. Chapter 1

The great hall buzzed with activity as the sorting feast for a new year was waiting to start. Everyone looked to the door waiting for Professor McGonagall to come in with the first years to be sorted. At last their waiting was over as she walked in with about twenty eleven year olds following behind her. A woman at the high table looked upon them from her seat, searching for the black head that she knew belonged to her daughter.

Professor Remus Lupin looked at her and smiled. "Excited Kelsey?" The woman in question looked at the man sitting next to her. "Of course I'm excited Remus! I have been waiting for this for eleven years and I can't wait to see what house Allia is put into." She refocused her attention to the sorting that was soon to begin. Remus chuckled to himself. His best friend Kelsey was never known for her patience when it came to Allia.

Professor McGonagall started her usual speech and began calling off the names of the new students to be put into their houses by the ragged sorting hat. At last she said, "Allia Sanko!" Down at the other end of the table, Professor Severus Snape's head snapped to attention at the name of the small black haired child hurrying up to the stool. He was completely taken aback by how much she looked like someone he had met a long time ago. The only difference being the black hair and the black eyes that met his as the hat shouted, " Slytherin!" The girl ran down to his house's table as he watched in bewilderment. Now that the sorting was over, Dumbledore stood to address the school. He gave his usual welcoming speech. At the end he made a final announcement. "I would like to point out that we have two new staff members this year. One is not so new but returning to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts is Professor Remus Lupin." A great thunderous applause broke out as Lupin stood to be recognized. Dumbledore continues, "and the second person I would like to introduce is our new Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Kelsey Sanko." Again there was applause before Dumbledore said to eat. Snape stared down the table at Kelsey, returned his eyes to Allia at the Slytherin table, and then back in the other direction.

"Severus is staring at you Kelsey," Remus pointed out. "Well what do you expect? I surprised him." "In more than one way," Remus replied. "Well he can't corner me tonight, he has to take care of his new Slytherins. Speaking of Slytherins, guess where my quarters are?" Remus put down his fork and looked to his best friend. "He didn't put you close to him did he?" "Right on the money there Remus." Remus shook his head in amusement. Sneaky old Albus Dumbledore. After dinner the students and staff began to file out of the Great Hall to their dorms, with first years following the prefects to be instructed by the head of their house. Kelsey and Remus parted ways in the entrance hall. "Hey mom!" came a call from behind her. Kelsey turned around to see her daughter running toward her. "What is it?" "Did you see the look on dad's face when he found out you were here?" Kelsey shook her head. "No I didn't, did he look shocked?" Allia nodded while smiling. "Go to your dorm, I will see you tomorrow. Be good for your father and if he asks who your father is, tell him that you don't know. I want him to figure it out for himself." Allia smiled, "Sure thing. Goodnight mom!" and ran down the hall after her housemates. Kelsey turned to go to her new quarters when Snape came out of the hall. He saw her and started to make a beeline for her through the crowd of students. Kelsey saw him coming and moved as quickly as she could, reaching her quarters before he could catch up to her. She had successfully avoided him for now, but how long could she manage before he got the chance to talk to her?

Snape silently cursed to himself as he watched Kelsey close her door. He had to talk to her. He had so many questions to ask her. What was she doing here? Who is Allia's father? He was obviously a Slytherin otherwise she wouldn't have been put into his house. One parent needed to be a Slytherin for that to happen and Kelsey had been in Hufflepuff. His thinking started to go back into the past at that thought. He remembered a night similar to tonight where a young girl that was identical to Allia but with blonde hair and gray eyes came to Hogwarts, was sorted into Hufflepuff, and entered into his life. He shook his head to clear it of those thoughts. He had a job to do. He would revisit those thoughts later. He walked briskly down to the dungeons to address his new students including Allia, the look-a-like of someone he wished that things had gone different with in the past. He would just have to corner Kelsey the next day and demand answers from her.

After his first years had been briefed, Snape made his way to his own quarters. His mind was reeling in confusion. He hadn't thought of these things in a long time. In fact he tried to avoid thinking about things that he regretted and caused him pain. He thought of those many years ago when he had something good in his life for once and it slipped away from him. As he lay in his bed, he thought about the black hair and the black eyes that Allia had and when his brain finally made the connection, he sat straight up on his bed. He felt so stupid! He knew he had seen those eyes and that hair before. He saw it every time he looked in the mirror. Allia was his daughter and he had no doubt about it. It made sense. It had been a little over eleven years since things between himself and Kelsey had ended. The facts started to add up inside his head and he started thinking of other things that made sense. He remembered there being a child that was at Number 12 Grimmwauld Place when he went there for a meeting with the Order. Of course! Kelsey was in the Order and she had brought Allia with her to the house. It had been right under his big nose and he didn't notice. Snape closed his eyes and made the decision final to talk to Kelsey tomorrow and find out what happened all those years ago. He finally turned over and went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN-Hey there readers. I would really appreciate hearing your thoughts on the story and any ideas you may have about it. Thanks for reading **

As morning dawned over the castle and the occupants began to rise, Kelsey paced inside her quarters waiting for the inevitable to happen. She had to go to breakfast. She couldn't be afraid, not now when she had managed to come this far. She shook her head to clear it before heading out her door and towards the main hall for breakfast. She heard the sounds of students as they filed into the hall. Kelsey made her way to the head table where some of the other staff members, including Remus. With a sigh of relief, Kelsey took the seat next to him and began to fill her plate. As she began to eat, she heard the chair on her other side being pulled back and then someone sitting down. She smelled a smell that she hadn't smelled in a long time, the smell of spices and herbs mixed with peppermint and the smell of the dungeons of Hogwarts. Remus confirmed her suspicions with a cheerful, "Morning Severus." Snape replied in his deep voice, "Lupin. Professor Sanko." "Morning," came the reply from Kelsey from behind her curtain of hair that she was hiding behind. Remus laughed quietly to himself at the awkward situation, earning him a sore foot from Kelsey stamping on it under the table. He grimaced in pain. "Problems Lupin? Surely you can't be having symptoms this early." Remus was used to Severus's remarks about his condition but he glared at Kelsey and was met with a glare in his direction. He smirked at her before turning back to his breakfast. Snape did not miss this exchange and he glared at Lupin with jealousy. He had made up his mind that morning. He was going to get answers and he was going to get her back and nothing was going to stand in his way, especially not a werewolf. Kelsey hid behind her hair for the whole meal, never looking at Snape. When she had her first chance, she got up from her chair and hurried out of the hall through the staff entrance. Snape got up as soon as Kelsey left and followed her out of the hall. He walked much faster than she did and his long legs enabled him to catch up to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into the closest empty classroom he could find. "Severus! What are you doing?!" Kelsey yelled as her pulled her into the room and closed the door behind him. "I need to talk to you and every time I try to talk to you, you run away from me." "I have only been here one day Severus." Snape closed his eyes and looked up towards the ceiling. He knew he was being irrational, but it had to be done. "I know that if I continued to try and talk to you, you would keep running away from me. You have been running away from me for almost twelve years now." He looked down into Kelsey's eyes and he could tell that he had hit a nerve with that sentence. "I don't have a class first period, do you? I really need to talk to you about a lot of things." Kelsey looked up into Snape's eyes and saw the desperation. He needed answers, she knew that. "No I don't have a class first period either, I can talk to you. What do you want to know?" Snape had so many questions inside his brain that he didn't know which one to ask first. He was happy that she agreed to talk to him at least. "I am Allia's father, aren't I?" Kelsey wasn't surprised by his question, in fact she had expected it from him. "Yes. You are Allia's father. She was born on your 34th birthday." Snape blinked in surprise. His daughter was born on his birthday? "Why did you never tell me? Did you know when you ended things between us?" Kelsey looked out the window, trying to find something to look at besides Snape's face. "No, I didn't know I was pregnant then. I found out shortly afterwards. I never told you because you were so angry when I ended things…" Kelsey broke off in the middle of her sentence remembering to when things had ended between them. She felt a tear run down her face. To say that he was angry would be an understatement….

It was down pouring as Kelsey made her way down to the dungeons. As she passed a window, she looked out into the gloomy April weather. The rain could not have come on a more perfect day. Shivering, she continued her path down the stairs. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes when she reached Snape's office door. She raised her shaking hand to knock on the door. "Enter," came a voice from inside. As she entered, shutting the door behind her, Snape looked up and saw who it was. With great pain she saw his eyes light up for a brief second before he saw the tears in his eyes. "Kelsey, what's wrong? Why aren't you studying for your N.E.W.T.S.? Why are you crying?" He got up from his desk and made his way over to her. When he moved, the left sleeve of his shirt moved showing a small fraction of the dark mark upon his forearm. At the sight of it, Kelsey finally burst into tears and collapsed to the floor. Snape quickened his pace and reached her and pulled her into his arms. "What's wrong?" he pleaded of her. Kelsey gathered all the strength that she had and stood, pushing him away from her as he did. "I'm sorry Severus, but I think that we should end things between us. I heard what you did to get Lupin fired and I know that Voldemort may come back and I'm afraid that you will go back to him and I can't live knowing you might not come back to me one night." Snape's face went blank as he returned to a standing position. "After everything that I have sacrificed to be with you. My job, my reputation, and you're just going to leave me on the off chance that Voldemort might come back? And why would you assume I would go back to him if he did, don't you know me at all?" He angerly turned away and leaned with his hands on his desk. "Severus, I'm so sorry.." "In the future, you will address me as Professor Snape or sir, now get out of my office." "But.." "I said GET OUT!" Snape suddenly turned and threw a glass jar in Kelsey's direction. She ducked and it flew over her head and smashed on the floor behind her. She looked at Snape with sadness and fear and slowly began to back towards the door. Comprehension of what he just did appeared on his face. "Kelsey, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. Please…" Before he could finish his sentence, Kelsey had run out of the office sobbing. She could hear him calling after her as she ran down the hall but she kept running until she reached the bathroom where she ran inside and threw herself to the floor and vomited into the first toilet.

Kelsey pulled out of her flash back when Snape touched her shoulder. "Are you all right?" She turned her attention from the window to Snape's face with tears running silently down her face. "I was thinking of that night. I got lost in the past with my thoughts." She saw Snape's face go pale as he realized what she was talking about. He walked over to the window and stared silently outside for a few minutes. Suddenly, he spoke. "I'm so sorry for what happened that night. I didn't know what I was doing when I threw that glass jar at you. I was just so angry and hurt. I called after you but you kept running away from me. I felt like a monster." He stopped talking again and resumed looking out the window. Another few minutes had passed before he said, "How long after that did you find out you were pregnant?" "About a week after that. I was so scared when I found out, I didn't know what to do. I was going to turn 18 in a few days and there I was without you, N.E.W.T.S. on the way, and now a baby on the way." Snape turned from the window. "Why didn't you come to me and tell me. I would have taken care of you and the baby." "I was so scared Severus. I had seen your anger and I knew that if we were ever to fight, myself and the baby would be in danger. When you approached me at graduation, I almost told you but I didn't and stuck to my reasoning for ending things with you in the first place." "What was that reason anyways?" It was Kelsey's turn to look away again. "I told you. I was afraid that if Voldemort came back, you would return to him. Also I was incredibly disappointed in you for doing what you did to get Remus fired." Jealousy flickered in Snape's eyes for a second. "Yes, I remember you saying that. At the time, I thought that you had feelings for Lupin and that just fueled my rage more. When we met at the meetings for the Order and I saw you with Lupin, my jealousy only grew. I was hurt to think that you chose a werewolf over me." Kelsey's head shot up at the werewolf comment. "Remus is my best friend and has been for 12 years. We don't have anything between us. In fact I don't have anything going on with anyone and I haven't since I was with you." The jealousy slipped off of Snape's face as he contemplated what Kelsey had just told him. "I know. I was a jealous fool and I wanted you back but I hated you at the same time." He could see that his words had hurt her the second they were out of his mouth. Before he could say anything, Kelsey spoke again. "You hated me? Truly hated me? I suspected as much but now that I have heard you say it, it is finally sinking in. I'm sorry Severus, but I don't think I can talk anymore." With that, Kelsey fled from the room before Snape could stop her from leaving. "No! Kelsey come back!" He was too late though, as Kelsey was long gone. He sat on a desk chair and buried his head in his hands. Why did he always say the wrong thing at the wrong time? He was finally getting some answers from her and here he had chased her away again. He needed to get her back if it was the last thing he did. He made his mistake of not trying hard enough all those years ago and he wasn't going to repeat that mistake again. Snape stood up and checked his watch. It was almost second period. He made his way out of the empty classroom and headed towards his dungeon classroom. As he walked down the hall, he passed the Muggle Studies classroom and he saw Kelsey setting up for her first lesson, tears still running down her face. He was so close, he only needed to open his mouth and say the words he wanted to say. He wanted to say "I never truly hated you. I have never stopped loving you." He couldn't bring himself to say it and started to walk down the hallway again. He didn't see Kelsey look up from her desk and watch him walk away from her door.


	3. Chapter 3

The only time that Snape saw Kelsey during the next few days was at meals. Even though she was only a small distance away from him, he felt that they were miles apart. He hadn't felt this way since right after they had broken things off when she was in her seventh year. He remembered when he used to sit at the high table and stare down at her sitting at the Hufflepuff table. He should have figured something had been wrong then by the way that she was acting. He had just dismissed it as whatever had come between them and hadn't really thought about it. Now as he looked at her sitting beside him at the high table, he could tell that things were not going well with her. When she left the table Wednesday night after dinner, he thought that he could smell alcohol on her as she walked away. He leaned over her empty chair and tapped Lupin on the shoulder. Remus looked at him in surprise. Snape never talked to him on a personal level and he could guess what he wanted to talk about. "Yes Severus?" "Has Kelsey said anything to you about how we had talked?" Remus looked hesitant. "Yes she did mention that you two had talked and from what I could tell it didn't go very well. I haven't seen her like this since…" Snape heard Lupin's hesitation. "Since when Lupin? And what's wrong with her? She smelled somewhat like alcohol when she just left." At this, Remus's face fell. Under his breath, so quietly that Snape barely heard him, he murmured, "not again. She said she wouldn't do it again. Allia won't be happy." Snape grew alarmed at Lupin's words. "What did she do Lupin? When was the last time that she acted like this?" "Alcohol does not really agree with her body because…well because it just doesn't. She promised Allia that she wouldn't do it anymore last time she did. Last time she drank was a couple years ago. She didn't handle you almost dying very well, and she turned to alcohol not knowing the harm that it would do to her body because of…" He broke off and looked back to his plate. "Because of what Lupin?" "It's not my place to tell you. If you want to know, you're going to have to talk to her yourself." Snape stood up from his chair to leave. "That's just what I'll do then." With that, he left the hall as Remus followed him with his eyes. He was really worried about his best friend. His eyes moved down to the Slytherin table where he saw that Allia had been watching everything and had probably figured out that something was going on between her parents. She turned to meet his eyes and he smiled at her and shrugged, hoping it would keep her from investigating the situation. She smiled back at him and turned back to her conversation with her housemates.

Kelsey was laying on her bed in her quarters when she heard the pounding on her door. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. Her head hurt and she was ashamed that she had been drinking earlier when she had promised her daughter that she wouldn't do it again. Her hand moved to her stomach where she knew under her shirt, there was a scar that she knew would be giving her some trouble soon. She would have to go see Madame Pomfrey in the morning. The pounding on her door came again, this time louder and with a voice she had no desire to hear tonight. "Kelsey, I know you're in there. Let me in please and stop hiding from me. We still have a lot to talk about." Kelsey got up from her bed and made her way to the door. She opened it a small amount and looked up into Snape's dark eyes. She could see the worry and concern in them and it made something spark inside her. He still cared about her. He didn't just want answers to his questions. "Fine. Come in." She pulled the door open all the way and stepped out of the way so he could come in. She shut the door and stared at it for a while before the voice interrupted her thoughts again. "Please come sit down and talk with me." She felt his hand on her shoulder. She turned and walked to her couch and sat down with Snape following suit. She buried her face in her hands and they sat in silence for a while before either of them spoke. Severus was the first to speak, "I know that you have been drinking and Remus told me that you shouldn't be. Would you mind telling me why you shouldn't drink?" Kelsey looked up with red eyes and stared at the place where she knew the bottle of alcohol was hidden with a guilty expression on her face. However would she explain this to him without him blaming himself. He was the reason she drank, but it was her own fault. She knew she had to tell him, if he cared enough to seek her out and ask her then he would be willing to listen to her story. "I can't drink because of this," she said before pulling her shirt halfway up exposing her stomach. Severus leaned forward and looked to see the cause of the situation. Right above her belly button he saw a scar that was in the shape of a sideways capital L that he could tell was caused by magic. "How did you get that scar?" he asked cautiously. He didn't want to push her too far where she would retreat into herself and not talk to him again. Pulling her shirt back down, Kelsey closed her eyes before slipping into the past once again to bring back the painful memories….

A pounding on the door warned her that something was coming for her. Kelsey ran to her daughter's room and lifted her from the bed. She needed to hide her, save her from whatever was coming. She ran into the hall carrying her now awake four year old daughter desperate to find the hiding place she had prepared. When she finally found the spot on the wall, she quickly said the password as she heard the door smash open. Placing Allia in the hole in the wall that opened she said, "I need you to be quiet for mommy ok?" A sleepy and confused Allia nodded her head and Kelsey kissed her forehead before the wall closed again. She extinguished the lights in the room and stood with her back against the wall, waiting for her attacker.

"Turning off the lights won't stop me. I will still find you sooner or later," came the soft drawling voice she wished she had never had to hear again. As the lightning outside the hall window flashed, it reflected off the silver hair of Lucius Malfoy as he made his way in her direction. "Ahh, there you are little badger," he said with an evil smile. "Don't call me that!" Kelsey screamed at him over the thunder, "only one person can call me that!" He walked even closer and flicked his wand, lighting up the room. "Ahh yes, our dear Severus. Too bad that he couldn't be here. It's quite sad that he won't get to say goodbye to his family." Kelsey's eyes widened in fear. How did Lucius know about Allia and her parentage? His soft laugh pulled her out of her thoughts and she realized he was right in front of her. She flinched as he reached out a hand and stroked the side of her face. "So soft and pretty. It's too bad that you were born into a family of animals or I might have taken you for myself." Kelsey closed her eyes and hoped that he would kill her quickly. That's why he's here wasn't he? "What do you want Lucius?" she said with a biting tone in her voice. His smile faltered a bit. "This visit isn't about what I want. It's about what needs to be done." Before she could do anything, she was lying on the floor on her back. She stared up into his cold blue eyes in fear. He pointed his wand at her and she was filled with pain as he said, "Crucio." She screamed as she writhed on the floor in pain and prayed it would be over soon. The pain stopped and she opened her eyes to see him crouching next to her. "Just kill me!" she screamed in his face. He smirked and said, "That's not what I came here to do. I came to bring you and your child to the dark lord so he can make Snape suffer to pay for his betrayal. But first, I have something I need to do. She felt the ability to move escape her and he went and lifted her shirt halfway. "A little gift for you," he said before pointing his wand at her stomach and muttering a spell she had never heard before. She felt the burning in her stomach as he emblazed something onto it. She started to scream again and before long the pain had stopped again. Lucius removed the immobility spell and to Kelsey's surprise he kissed her forehead. "Now no one can give you a gift besides me."

A loud shout filled the room coming from the door. "No! Stupefy!" Lucius didn't have time to react before Remus' spell hit him and sent him flying across the room. Remus ran to Kelsey's side and looked down at her bleeding on the floor. "Can you stand up?" he asked helping her sit up. Kelsey clutched her stomach and one look at her hand told her she was bleeding. "I can stand but I will need help." Remus helped her to her feet and steadied her. "Where's Allia?" he asked frantically looking around. "She's in the compartment in the wall," Kelsey said pointing to where he daughter was hidden. Remus ran to the wall shouting the password as he went. The wall opened to reveal a crying and frightened Allia.

He pulled her out and ran back to where Kelsey was supporting herself on the wall. "We need to get to Hogwarts, and fast." "Is the battle over?" Kelsey asked in disbelief. Remus nodded and grabbed her hand to apparate. "The results are not good though." "What happened?" Remus looked into her eyes and sadly said, "He's dying." She didn't need any clarification as to whom, she knew who was in danger and he needed to live.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN-I apologize for such short chapters but that is the only way I can break the story up into appropriate sections.**

Kelsey paused when she came to this part of the story. She opened her eyes at looked up at Severus with sad eyes. He already knew this part and he knew what happened. Severus looked at her with concern and gently laid his hand on her arm. "It's alright, you can continue, I want to hear it from your point of view. Kelsey nodded sadly before continuing…

As soon as Kelsey and Remus reached Hogwarts, she ran full sprint to the great hall where Madame Pomfrey was taking care of the wounded. "Where is he?" she asked frantically before noticing the wizard in question. He lie dying on a cot with blood flowing from several puncture wounds. "No! Severus, no!" she cried running to his side and falling down beside the cot. She quickly grabbed at the necklace hanging on her neck, a gift from Severus, and held it over the dying man's body. She uttered an incantation and broke the glass case surrounding a small mushroom shape within it. A bluish green light surrounded Severus and his wounds started to heal and Kelsey sighed with relief. She stood up from the ground and quickly realized that was a mistake. Just as Remus came running into the room, Kelsey started to sway and her eyes drifted closed as she descended to the ground unconscious. Remus ran over to her in a panic and lifted her up into his arms while calling for help. In the commotion, no one seemed to notice the man in black laying on the cot slowly opening his eyes. Severus Snape was confused as to how he was still alive until he looked on the ground next to him and saw the remnants of the necklace and he understood at once. She had saved him. His dark eyes darted over to where Madame Pomfrey was examining the unconscious woman that he loved so much. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see the sad and tired eyes of Remus Lupin looking down at him. "You've been through a lot Severus, you should rest." Severus layed back down and closed his eyes. Before he lost consciousness, he heard a woman's voice speaking to Lupin. "She's stable, but I have some bad news. She will never be able to have children again." That sad revelation stayed with Severus as he drifted into unconsciousness.

Kelsey and Severus looked at each other as he finished adding in the end of the story with his own experience of the events. Neither of them knew what to say. Severus was the first to speak. "I'm so sorry Kelsey. Is there anything I can do to help you?" Kelsey shook her head as tears began to run down her face once again. "I still don't understand how drinking plays into this. I'm not going to ask why you drink, although I can guess why, but why are you not supposed to?" Kelsey stood and walked over until she was in front of the fireplace and stared into the fire that was crackling there. "Whenever I drink, it irritates the scar and it starts to make my body shut down. I don't know why it does, but it does. After the last attack, I promised Allia I would never drink again, but I have broken that promise. I'm actually surprised it hasn't affected me yet." Her eyes drifted up to the clock on the mantelpiece. "It's getting late, you should go." Severus stood to leave and with one last glance at her back, walked out the door, closing it slowly behind him, leaving her alone in her room. As soon as the door was shut, he heard her start to sob and he walked away with a heavy heart. He should have been there to protect her. He should have made sure she was safe. This was all his fault. If he had never gotten involved with her in the first place, none of this would have happened. "I see you talked to her then," came a voice from behind him. He whirled around to face Lupin and was taken aback at the look of sadness on his face. "I know what you are thinking Severus, and you shouldn't blame yourself. None of it was your fault. You gave her the thing she wanted the most in life. You gave her a child that she adores. No one is to blame apart from Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy. Just remember that." Lupin patted Severus on the shoulder before turning and walking in the opposite direction down the hallway. Severus shook his head and started walking towards his quarters in the dungeons. He hoped to put it right somehow. He would make her happy again if it was the last thing he did.


End file.
